THE CHILDREN HAVE UNIONIZED. THE CRAYONS ARE HOSTAGES. WE NEED BTs & PARAS IMMEDIATELY!!!
- Location
- West Babylon, NY
- Listed
- 5 days ago
Help Wanted: Experienced Negotiator Preferred
East Meadow, NY 11554
Excellent Pay (the kind that makes you reply to the recruiter immediately)
- Monday-Thursday | 4 PM-7 PM
- 1:1 In-Home ABA Case
- THE SITUATION
- A highly intelligent, highly verbal 9-year-old boy is looking for his next Behavior Technician.
- Before applying, you should know: This child has never paid taxes.
- Has never had a mortgage.
- Has never worked a full-time job.
- Yet somehow possesses the confidence of a Fortune 500 CEO.
Daily Responsibilities
- Explain a rule
- Explain the same rule differently
- Explain why the rule still exists
- Listen to a detailed counterargument
- Wonder if he might actually have a point
- Remember you're the adult
Things You May Hear on the Job
- "That's not what happened."
- "Technically..."
- "Can you prove it?"
- "Where does it say that?"
- "That's your opinion."
- "And another thing..."
Ideal Candidate
We're looking for someone with
- The patience of a kindergarten teacher on the day before summer vacation
- The energy of a golden retriever who just heard the word "park"
- The emotional stability to be fact-checked by a fourth-grader
- The ability to keep a straight face while losing a debate to someone who still needs help opening a ketchup packet
What's in IT for You?
- Great pay
- Consistent hours
- Fridays off
- Weekends off
- Meaningful work that actually makes a difference
- And let's be honest...
A lifetime of stories nobody will believe happened.
Warning
- Side effects of this position may include: Becoming unusually good at negotiations
- Accidentally using ABA terminology in real life
- Catching yourself saying "Nice job making a good choice!" to grown adults
- Being humbled by someone whose age is still a single digit
- Send your resume, availability, and hourly rate expectations today!
- One child.
- One case.
- Infinite plot twists.
Apply now before somebody else gets paid to argue with a tiny lawyer for 3 hours a day.
From OOS Management Corp.'s careers page, first listed on Rolev.ai on November 5, 2026. Rolev.ai is not the employer.
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Common questions
Where is the THE CHILDREN HAVE UNIONIZED. THE CRAYONS ARE HOSTAGES. WE NEED BTs & PARAS IMMEDIATELY!!! job at OOS Management Corp. located?
This THE CHILDREN HAVE UNIONIZED. THE CRAYONS ARE HOSTAGES. WE NEED BTs & PARAS IMMEDIATELY!!! position at OOS Management Corp. is located in West Babylon, NY. Always check OOS Management Corp.'s application page for specific state eligibility or relocation policies.
How do I apply for the THE CHILDREN HAVE UNIONIZED. THE CRAYONS ARE HOSTAGES. WE NEED BTs & PARAS IMMEDIATELY!!! position at OOS Management Corp.?
This listing links directly to OOS Management Corp.'s Greenhouse application page. You can apply directly on OOS Management Corp.'s site, or use Rolev.ai to check your resume fit, generate a zero-hallucination tailored resume and cover letter for this posting, and autofill the Greenhouse application form in 1 click with the Rolev.ai Chrome extension. You always review the form and press Submit yourself.